Dedicated to Faith No More, with the gratitude for the most authentic “chalga” party I have once attended and most of all that you have reunited for me, hehheh no giggling, Mr. Patton… Dedicated also to the mark of rock, to our common “die hard” habit and to heroes in general.
CLASS OF ’11
track >> PLAY
band >> faith no more
lyrics >> king for a day
These days, my pencils have little energy. Tilted in my box as if crestfallen, looking down and further, to the earth. Each stared at its little outlined spot, nestled in the narrow space, not daring to move a bit. No much air in the small ovals, but it is cold outside, dangers stalk.
There are such moments in life when, leaning clumsily cheek on your sweaty palm, with idle fingers the other tries to straighten your pencils, exhausted itself, and you only look at them, not participating. Yes, there are such moments and they have their reasons, which remain hidden for the writers only, their secrets. Staring at the pencil box together with its pencils, your, your pencils, and then you want to narrate. Selfish are writers, keeping their true stories aside, leaving the tales for you. If it continues to lean against the edge, in such crestfallen air, it might break down. No, it will not find enough strength, but will certainly bend down, will flow down like melted crayon, will fill in the little ovals with small pools of deep purple ink, while only graphite in dry powder remains from it before long.
Being lords of our time, how much does it cost to us and was it worth it at all?! Kings of the day, the world at our feet, got there even by chance, while romping without direction, just like this, most chaotic, in an attempt to release the exceeding loads of oil, erupting in spasms and waves inside out our fragile depths. World at our feet, nothing but a plain ball, not even leather-made but rubber, made for children, quite infant, but more resilient than ourselves. Step upon it, it will not burst. Will hiss until some time and then surely someone will swell it again; but easy to slip when you step upon it. Falls, raw knees and elbows, healing quickly, it is all a game. We know about the wounds only when they start to fade outside, to vanish, soaking more and more inward.
Masters of the time, but powerless to stop its waste amongst our languishing fingers. Kings for a day, unable to prevent our doom, the self-destruction, from lights to turn into shadows. Bearing the burden of the truth, shall we be kings, we shall be history as well. Glorious legend, enviable, tragic, comic, thick voluminous chronicle with gold-woven purple covers lied on a pedestal in our personal crypts… A book, just a book, present in our place; shall we not be kings, however, no one will be to write it.
I’ve Made a Mistake, Yes, I’m Just a Man
Mister Bon Jovi would have hardly ever had the opportunity to end up among my favorites for the classes if he had not had the talent to make this confession a stanza of a beautiful song. I’m not particularly quite the fan of him, but along with several others this song is sentimentally related to the time of my teenage years, and the aforementioned verse appears to be an excellent motto for the theme of my today’s article. However, this is going to be all from him. Thank you, Mister Catch Me if You Can.
Today’s classes I dedicate to the mistakes, people, talents, as well as to a very special and beloved one; the man who still keeps taking my breath the same way as he has ever done. He who turned 42 exactly four days ago and would have celebrated it with us if he was still here. In fact, he has never been away. Those who touch your heart deeply, remain to live there forever. Of course, if your heart is a good host.
CLASS OF ’10
track >> PLAY
band >> alice in chains
lyrics >> angry chair
I choose this song not for one reason. It is one of my most favourite of all times, it is entirely his, Laynie’s, as I call him in my own language, in Gallish, it is a song for his mistake, fatal, because there are such, a mistake that has taken away from him the opportunity to enjoy life, if he could, and from us one gigantic and irreplaceable talent, the chance to enjoy more of his music and art. Though our consolation is that we still have this heritage to appreciate, if we can.
However, I am not going to talk about others’ mistakes here; let everyone with more or less personal experience do so for themselves, and if there is a one who wants to listen, the best is doing it from first hand. Here, I am talking about my mistakes and what I have found about them, about people and the talents to make, confess and forgive, gaining such along the way. Surely, you might have experienced perceiving something in your life as a page already turned over, a chapter read or a whole book closed, and it would be completely natural. Well, I can say myself as well and with a good dose of confidence too that this lesson, taken a notable deal of time and effort, for me is already finished, learnt, understood. Qualifications might be ahead, but I feel the secure, stable foundation on which to upgrade.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, I even feel their number beyond the average scale of admissibility, which the statistics would indicate if such existed. Of course, it is all a subjective perception, but I know where it comes from. I guess, an intelligent and smart human, who usually thinks before acting and is also guided by pure motives, would feel a similar way when, despite all these worthy qualities, their talent to make mistakes prevails at times. It is not by chance that I mention about the number, because whether of luck or, who knows, precisely because of the listed qualities, these numerous mistakes had never reached too extreme limits, but it is a relative concept as well.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, most of them involuntarily, other equal part was of silliness. Heh, I remember the words of my boy-artist who used to have a much convincing outlook for our very short acquaintance. Now, having already achieved the same talent, I can share his opinion that, despite the fact I have never been a stupid girl, this has not prevented me of doing quite a lot of silly things. A third part of my mistakes I own to confusion; the process of self-recognition, the road to oneself is quite complex, especially when you walk it in a bigger world, more complicated and chaotic than your own internal. Entirely what the nature of things is. I guess this is a suitable moment to warn you that the things I talk about myself with confidence, of course, always leaving a few pinches of doubt, the guaranteeing percentage for realism, are namely based on such a prolonged process of self-recognizing, a result of constant asking and seeking answers throughout the sieve of serious, not to say raw, self-directed scrutiny. The same way I approach to know the world, I approach to know myself, in depth. I can try to assure those who would continue to doubt, something quite natural, but would still be open to the foreign experience, that, yes, one cannot know themselves in the perfect way, because no perfect people exist, but can still be capable of getting more or less aware, and this is a conscious process.
Another part of my mistakes are due to selfishness, or as I have perceived it imposed from outside by someone’s view without intention, or on the contrary, with the motive to provoke feelings of guilt. Now, however, with the solid dose of confidence and personal knowledge, and with good understanding about the environment, in which all of us have spent one or another part of their lives, I can name this so-called selfishness was more an explicable, logical protective reaction towards one anti-human, human-centrifugal mentality. Mentality that wants of you to be faultless and wants this not for your sake, but for its own comfort. Who is selfish in the case?! Mentality that teaches you to accept people not in their natural diversity and difference but to your private measures, leading only to mutual intolerance and rejection. Mentality, which you will never manage to satisfy, because it does not want your unique features, your individuality, and which, if you still insist to be a part of, God only knowing why, will impose on you the term to make fundamental compromises with yourself and to turn into someone else to ever have a chance to be liked. Oh, this is not for everyone… Mentality that is wrong itself, and wants from you to be without faults. Which looks through the eyes of sentence rather than justice. Which makes malicious joy of your mistakes, because it knows to use them excellently against you when judging you for being not ideal, and you are deliberately taught to believe you can be. Which deprives you of your right to be a human and to be happy with your imperfection; in harmony with yourself, knowing this is entirely what human nature is; peaceful that you will always have a second chance when you get wrong, because you realize it, feel sincerely regretful and desire to improve the damaged. Mentality that vindicates impudence with no scruples to intentionally hurt and recidivism without end and without limits, but which does not accept your repentance and never forgives. How to feel the power of possessing conscience or the good to repent when there is no one to forgive you?!
The way to defeat such a mentality begins when you feel that you are not yourself being part of it and in result choose not to be. When you choose to be yourself, to have the courage to seek and find, to see your true self, and not the one someone else wants you to be. When you accept yourself, able to appreciate your virtues and straightly face your faults; when you choose what to change and what to keep, to improve from your qualities. When you break down the illusion, turning you into a slave and a victim, that you can be faultless and the manipulation that you owe this to someone else than yourself. When you achieve enough personal knowledge to state with confidence that you are not afraid to be what you are and to get wrong, because you are a human, a one with conscience and dignity, and your mistakes are not your sentence but crucial and irreversible life experience along the road to improvement.
I found an essential part of my internal harmony and freedom exactly when I realized that, despite my distinctive features and together with my faults, I am just one man among billions of other similar and different people. Truth is that this long personal process has been strongly encouraged by my acquaintance with environment outside the local. Will the local change for better depends entirely on us and how comfortable we feel here, but surely it has got the chance. As for me, I am glad to have achieved the talent to accept this truth about people, to keep my principles but with much better understanding towards them and judging them less, to feel satisfaction to admit my mistakes and to ask for forgiveness, confident in my conscience, in my ability to feel sincere repentance and the awareness that I am not capable of hurting intentionally, voluntary, cold-blooded, for neither this is “me” nor I could ever bear living this way with myself. As everyone I am not spared the hurt as well but never have I experienced difficulties to forgive; no matter how strong the pain or devastating the destruction, I can feel grief, dis-acquiescence, anger, but not hatred, this is just my nature. And now, in this innermost moment I want to say “I am sorry!!” to everyone whom I have once hurt and whom I shall most likely do in the future, because no matter how further I improve, I remain just a man.
Today’s classes I dedicate to the mistakes, people, talents, as well as to a very special and beloved one; the man who still keeps taking my breath the same way as he has ever done. He who turned 42 exactly four days ago and would have celebrated it with us if he was still here. In fact, he has never been away. Those who touch your heart deeply, remain to live there forever. Of course, if your heart is a good host.
CLASS OF ’10
track >> PLAY
band >> alice in chains
lyrics >> angry chair
I choose this song not for one reason. It is one of my most favourite of all times, it is entirely his, Laynie’s, as I call him in my own language, in Gallish, it is a song for his mistake, fatal, because there are such, a mistake that has taken away from him the opportunity to enjoy life, if he could, and from us one gigantic and irreplaceable talent, the chance to enjoy more of his music and art. Though our consolation is that we still have this heritage to appreciate, if we can.
However, I am not going to talk about others’ mistakes here; let everyone with more or less personal experience do so for themselves, and if there is a one who wants to listen, the best is doing it from first hand. Here, I am talking about my mistakes and what I have found about them, about people and the talents to make, confess and forgive, gaining such along the way. Surely, you might have experienced perceiving something in your life as a page already turned over, a chapter read or a whole book closed, and it would be completely natural. Well, I can say myself as well and with a good dose of confidence too that this lesson, taken a notable deal of time and effort, for me is already finished, learnt, understood. Qualifications might be ahead, but I feel the secure, stable foundation on which to upgrade.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, I even feel their number beyond the average scale of admissibility, which the statistics would indicate if such existed. Of course, it is all a subjective perception, but I know where it comes from. I guess, an intelligent and smart human, who usually thinks before acting and is also guided by pure motives, would feel a similar way when, despite all these worthy qualities, their talent to make mistakes prevails at times. It is not by chance that I mention about the number, because whether of luck or, who knows, precisely because of the listed qualities, these numerous mistakes had never reached too extreme limits, but it is a relative concept as well.
I have made a lot of mistakes in my life, most of them involuntarily, other equal part was of silliness. Heh, I remember the words of my boy-artist who used to have a much convincing outlook for our very short acquaintance. Now, having already achieved the same talent, I can share his opinion that, despite the fact I have never been a stupid girl, this has not prevented me of doing quite a lot of silly things. A third part of my mistakes I own to confusion; the process of self-recognition, the road to oneself is quite complex, especially when you walk it in a bigger world, more complicated and chaotic than your own internal. Entirely what the nature of things is. I guess this is a suitable moment to warn you that the things I talk about myself with confidence, of course, always leaving a few pinches of doubt, the guaranteeing percentage for realism, are namely based on such a prolonged process of self-recognizing, a result of constant asking and seeking answers throughout the sieve of serious, not to say raw, self-directed scrutiny. The same way I approach to know the world, I approach to know myself, in depth. I can try to assure those who would continue to doubt, something quite natural, but would still be open to the foreign experience, that, yes, one cannot know themselves in the perfect way, because no perfect people exist, but can still be capable of getting more or less aware, and this is a conscious process.
Another part of my mistakes are due to selfishness, or as I have perceived it imposed from outside by someone’s view without intention, or on the contrary, with the motive to provoke feelings of guilt. Now, however, with the solid dose of confidence and personal knowledge, and with good understanding about the environment, in which all of us have spent one or another part of their lives, I can name this so-called selfishness was more an explicable, logical protective reaction towards one anti-human, human-centrifugal mentality. Mentality that wants of you to be faultless and wants this not for your sake, but for its own comfort. Who is selfish in the case?! Mentality that teaches you to accept people not in their natural diversity and difference but to your private measures, leading only to mutual intolerance and rejection. Mentality, which you will never manage to satisfy, because it does not want your unique features, your individuality, and which, if you still insist to be a part of, God only knowing why, will impose on you the term to make fundamental compromises with yourself and to turn into someone else to ever have a chance to be liked. Oh, this is not for everyone… Mentality that is wrong itself, and wants from you to be without faults. Which looks through the eyes of sentence rather than justice. Which makes malicious joy of your mistakes, because it knows to use them excellently against you when judging you for being not ideal, and you are deliberately taught to believe you can be. Which deprives you of your right to be a human and to be happy with your imperfection; in harmony with yourself, knowing this is entirely what human nature is; peaceful that you will always have a second chance when you get wrong, because you realize it, feel sincerely regretful and desire to improve the damaged. Mentality that vindicates impudence with no scruples to intentionally hurt and recidivism without end and without limits, but which does not accept your repentance and never forgives. How to feel the power of possessing conscience or the good to repent when there is no one to forgive you?!
The way to defeat such a mentality begins when you feel that you are not yourself being part of it and in result choose not to be. When you choose to be yourself, to have the courage to seek and find, to see your true self, and not the one someone else wants you to be. When you accept yourself, able to appreciate your virtues and straightly face your faults; when you choose what to change and what to keep, to improve from your qualities. When you break down the illusion, turning you into a slave and a victim, that you can be faultless and the manipulation that you owe this to someone else than yourself. When you achieve enough personal knowledge to state with confidence that you are not afraid to be what you are and to get wrong, because you are a human, a one with conscience and dignity, and your mistakes are not your sentence but crucial and irreversible life experience along the road to improvement.
I found an essential part of my internal harmony and freedom exactly when I realized that, despite my distinctive features and together with my faults, I am just one man among billions of other similar and different people. Truth is that this long personal process has been strongly encouraged by my acquaintance with environment outside the local. Will the local change for better depends entirely on us and how comfortable we feel here, but surely it has got the chance. As for me, I am glad to have achieved the talent to accept this truth about people, to keep my principles but with much better understanding towards them and judging them less, to feel satisfaction to admit my mistakes and to ask for forgiveness, confident in my conscience, in my ability to feel sincere repentance and the awareness that I am not capable of hurting intentionally, voluntary, cold-blooded, for neither this is “me” nor I could ever bear living this way with myself. As everyone I am not spared the hurt as well but never have I experienced difficulties to forgive; no matter how strong the pain or devastating the destruction, I can feel grief, dis-acquiescence, anger, but not hatred, this is just my nature. And now, in this innermost moment I want to say “I am sorry!!” to everyone whom I have once hurt and whom I shall most likely do in the future, because no matter how further I improve, I remain just a man.
Your Honour, Mister Presley
This Sunday is the anniversary of Elvis Presley’s demise and as a sign of respect to his memory, I dedicate my classes of today entirely to him, to the Big Boss Man, to the King Of The Whole Wide World. The King of Rock. It was not easy to decide which to choose – a dynamic situation, some shortage of time and his great legacy. I have only been aware that when I find it, I am sure this is the song with the eternal message.
I have tried to listen to my internal voice, to the call of the season; off the city the summer is real, what is breathed in is real, what is breathed out is real, what is felt, what is seen, real are words, silence is real. I have decided to make these classes a little more special than usual, A Little Less Conversation, a little more action please, Mister Presley, all thanks to you and completely in your honour, your words and their everlasting meaning are to say more on behalf of us all, kindred souls, Raised On Rock and looking straight forward to the universal human values.
CLASS OF ’09
track >> PLAY
singer >> elvis presley
lyrics >> change of habit
I have tried to listen to my internal voice, to the call of the season; off the city the summer is real, what is breathed in is real, what is breathed out is real, what is felt, what is seen, real are words, silence is real. I have decided to make these classes a little more special than usual, A Little Less Conversation, a little more action please, Mister Presley, all thanks to you and completely in your honour, your words and their everlasting meaning are to say more on behalf of us all, kindred souls, Raised On Rock and looking straight forward to the universal human values.
CLASS OF ’09
track >> PLAY
singer >> elvis presley
lyrics >> change of habit
My Word to the King of Pop
This is my private, humble, straight-from-the-heart way to express the shock come along this sudden loss together with (because these two go together…) my respect to the great legacy he created and left to us all, to the World. And, on its notable pedestal, my deep gratitude of a human for the serious input this legacy contributed to the attempts for healing our common disturbed home-planet. Just remember the unforgettable messages of We’re The World, Black Or White, Earth Song, They Don’t Care About Us, Man In The Mirror, Heal The World…
CLASS OF ’08
track >> PLAY
singer >> michael jackson
lyrics >> billy jean
My relation with the King of Pop’s music involves a short, yet illustrious, period of time during my pre-teen years when I used to go to dance classes and had a few years older friend there, who was a keen fan of him.
No need to say that most of the people were crazy about his music those days; most of us little and bigger girls too, and boys perhaps, for I was not quite much interested in the boys’ temptations for their idols then. I remember we used to buy little badges with his face on from fair wagons in the town parks and gardens; they would even attack you in the street to rob you of your treasury. We also collected pictures of him from used bubble gums and put them in our girlish diaries and private notebooks we called lexicons, or exchanged them for others we lacked in our precious collections. Having a poster of Michael Jackson would have been a triumphant wealth those days.
And so, that friend of mine opened my eyes to the idol’s existence and set the fire on me for him. I still quite well remember that certain day after turning back from the dances when she took me to her place and played his songs to me, after which I would rash straight forward home and throw myself in chasing for any single record that my father’s musical collection could have kept for me somewhere. Unfortunately, what I was blessed to find after my long hunt was one track only on an old cassette tape, yet this song was worth a treasure!! I burnt it out from listening, you might imagine…
Was the song Bad or Smooth Criminal, or another, well, this has been already forgotten but I can still remember Dirty Diana was the cult. We learnt to dance on it and knew it from A to Z and Z to A, without even knowing English.
Dad is totally keen on music but the truth is he has never used to be the fan of his music; he would like Say Say Say for the parting of Paul McCartney, his favourite from The Beatles, rather than for anything else. Hence, the single precious record for me, which I am still that grateful for; and for my dad, there is yet one song he has shared to be in true favour with from the King of Pop’s legacy.
Billy Jean to your attention and my private way to commemorate the artist’s demise and his music that will remain forever living after him.
CLASS OF ’08
track >> PLAY
singer >> michael jackson
lyrics >> billy jean
My relation with the King of Pop’s music involves a short, yet illustrious, period of time during my pre-teen years when I used to go to dance classes and had a few years older friend there, who was a keen fan of him.
No need to say that most of the people were crazy about his music those days; most of us little and bigger girls too, and boys perhaps, for I was not quite much interested in the boys’ temptations for their idols then. I remember we used to buy little badges with his face on from fair wagons in the town parks and gardens; they would even attack you in the street to rob you of your treasury. We also collected pictures of him from used bubble gums and put them in our girlish diaries and private notebooks we called lexicons, or exchanged them for others we lacked in our precious collections. Having a poster of Michael Jackson would have been a triumphant wealth those days.
And so, that friend of mine opened my eyes to the idol’s existence and set the fire on me for him. I still quite well remember that certain day after turning back from the dances when she took me to her place and played his songs to me, after which I would rash straight forward home and throw myself in chasing for any single record that my father’s musical collection could have kept for me somewhere. Unfortunately, what I was blessed to find after my long hunt was one track only on an old cassette tape, yet this song was worth a treasure!! I burnt it out from listening, you might imagine…
Was the song Bad or Smooth Criminal, or another, well, this has been already forgotten but I can still remember Dirty Diana was the cult. We learnt to dance on it and knew it from A to Z and Z to A, without even knowing English.
Dad is totally keen on music but the truth is he has never used to be the fan of his music; he would like Say Say Say for the parting of Paul McCartney, his favourite from The Beatles, rather than for anything else. Hence, the single precious record for me, which I am still that grateful for; and for my dad, there is yet one song he has shared to be in true favour with from the King of Pop’s legacy.
Billy Jean to your attention and my private way to commemorate the artist’s demise and his music that will remain forever living after him.
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